


What do we owe to each other?

by EmyLilas



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Abby - Freeform, F/M, Romance, Romantic Fluff, friends talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 07:23:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19127305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmyLilas/pseuds/EmyLilas
Summary: Jackson asks her a question about Marcus and Abby can't answer. She doesn't want to face it. Hiding from her feelings has been a good solution but now it is the time for her to be brave. She has to face Marcus Kane.





	What do we owe to each other?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ma Meiou](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Ma+Meiou).



> Hi everyone! Here is my first fanfic ever about the 100 and my first fanfic ever written in English. It is not my mother tongue and I am not fluent but I tried to do the best I could. I hope you will enjoy reading this! Do not hesitate to leave me feedbacks (for the story itself, for the grammar...).

What do we owe to each other was an interesting question and she hadn’t find a proper answer yet. She could have gone for a cold and passionless answer. She could have said they owed each other their survival. It wasn’t even a lie, they did. He had kept her alive by saving her from falling apart. He assures their safety. And she had kept him alive by fixing his wounds all days long. She tries to assure their well-being. This, was her cold answer. This, was what she said to Jackson when he had asked her about her new relationship with Marcus Kane, even if his question wasn’t exactly formulated in those terms.

“ _I guess I owe him my survival_ ” had been her answer, thinking it would be enough for Jackson. But he hadn’t been satisfied with what her mentor said – his unsatisfaction is the reason they are both still dealing with it while trying to clean up med-bay.

“ _I have nothing more to say about it, Jackson. I don’t even understand why you make it such a big deal._ ” Jackson sighs. “ _People make it a big deal. People are talking._

 _-That’s what people do when they get bored._ ” And it is all he can have from her. For now. Eric Jackson has been taught by Doctor Abbigail Griffin and Eric Jackson has learnt well from Doctor Abbigail Griffin. Both for medical competencies and behaviour. Eric Jackson is as stubborn and determined as Doctor Abbigail Griffin is. And on this specific point, his curiosity might even push him further. Eric Jackson wants to know. To the question “why” he answers two times, at least. First of all, he wants her to answer to make sure his mentor, his friend, is safe. He isn’t blind – as all of them – and he has noticed. They have noticed. Noticed the way Marcus Kane refuses to be away from their chief medical. Noticed the smile she gives him when she sees him coming. Noticed her arm always brushes his when they stand side by side. And noticed many other things. But he isn’t deaf as well and he has heard all the arguments they had in the chancellor office they both decided to share. Heard the bitter words they exchange in med-bay thinking no one was here to hear it. Marcus Kane and Abbigail Griffin had no idea that every single person in Arkadia was a witness to this new relationship they were uncomfortable with. But Jackson knows.

“ _We may be bored but it doesn’t matter. Something has changed. Who’s Kane to you, Abby?_ ” But Abby won’t answer. He knows the question is far too brutal for her. She might be their leader and she might have proven her worth and strength, Abbigail Griffin remains a shy and modest woman. She doesn’t want to talk about her feelings. And Jackson knows she doesn’t even want to face them. Asking her about them doesn’t allow her to ignore them. Because Jackson knows it is what Abby does: she ignores her feelings. She ignores how she feels when Marcus is around. And when he’s not. But Jackson knows as well that she may ignore it as much as she wants but she can’t hide them. She can’t hide the glint of fear that fills her eyes. She can’t hide the shaking of her hands. She can’t even hide her aching heart. That’s for the fear. But what Jackson knows she can’t hide more than her fear is the relief she feels when he comes to med-bay to tell her he’s back. It irradiates her face. And there’s not much she can do about that.

“ _At least you could admit you feel for him._

- _What’s the point Jackson? What do you want me to say?_ ”

She might regret her harsh tone. Maybe she will. But for now, her anger is obvious. If her friend thinks she’s mad at him for asking about Marcus and her, he is wrong. The only person whose Abby is mad at, is herself. She blames herself for being so weak. She knows she feels about him but she can’t even admit it to herself, because she’s too afraid to face it. To face those strong and powerful feelings she has. It might cause his death. When she loves people, they die. Or they disappear. When she cares for people, bad things happen to them. She can’t let that happen to him. She can’t lose him.

“ _Why do you want me to say it?_ ”

And here they are. Jackson knows this question is her confession.

***

              It has been hours since they had this talk. But Abby can’t get Jackson’s words out of her head. Her fingers are tapping the desk while she looks at Marcus’ neck. He hasn’t seemed to notice how disturbed she was when he entered their room. It is only when he asks her about one mistake in the report he’s reading that he notices she hasn’t been listening to what he said. A quick look at her fingers and at this absent-minded look in her eyes tells him he has every right to worry about her.

“ _Everything’s fine, chancellor?_ ”

She doesn’t give him her usual sardonic smile at the mention of her title. She doesn’t even look at him. She just stares. She doesn’t even look at him when he walks slowly to reach her. His soft touch on her hand makes her stop tapping. But she keeps staring.

“ _Tell me._ ”

The Marcus Kane of the Ark would never have believed how much concerned he would feel on earth about her past sworn enemy Abbigail Griffin.  But here he is. His hand covers hers while his thumb brushes her soft skin. And he no longer feels the bitterness he felt on the Ark when he saw her at the corner of a hallway. He no longer feels the need to prove her how much she’s wrong and how much she should be listening to his advice. He no longer has the desire to push away Abbigail Griffin. He couldn’t do it without her being around. Marcus Kane knows that. He does need this woman. And he can’t bear the thought of loosing her. He can’t bear the idea she might be taken away from him one day. Either by war, either by enemies, either by another man. And here is Marcus Kane’s problem.

“ _Jackson asked me something. And I couldn’t answer._

- _Is that the fact you can’t answer everything which disturbs you that much?_ ” He says to her with a sweet mocking tone. But she does not pay attention to his words. She does not listen to him. And Marcus Kane starts to worry again.

“ _He asked me to tell him who you were to me_. _And I couldn’t answer_. _Who we were to each other, and I couldn’t answer.”_

His free hand runs into his dark curly hair. They may be finally having this talk they should have had before. But it scares him as hell. He has played the scene before. Every night before he goes to sleep. Every night after he says her goodnight. Every night after she has fallen asleep on the couch of their room. He has played the scene before, thinking he would be ready when the time comes. But he is not. Marcus only sees two possible endings. She feels the same way he does and they can move forward together or she doesn’t and he lost her, and maybe forever.

“ _I couldn’t answer because I’m scared. I am scared Marcus. The way I see things, there are only two possible endings. Either you are by my side. Either it breaks everything we have. But I can’t. I can’t lose you too.”_

Marcus Kane and Abbigail Griffin have known each other for years. Their whole life, to be exact. But after they landed on earth, they started to know each other better. To really know each other. They both know something had changed when he found her on the Ark, almost dying. When he took her shaking body against his chest. Something had changed. And this has been the reason she didn’t want him to sacrifice himself. At this time, she already knew she couldn’t bear to lose this man. And after everything they went through together, it has started to be stronger.

“ _When Thelonious came back without you, I thought you might be dead. Or being tortured. And I wished you came back instead of him. I wished it was him who was missing. I was afraid…_

_-That we would never get to see each other again. I know. Remember, I had those fears myself._

- _I am not strong enough to overcome your lost. And this is the problem Marcus. After everything I’ve lost, a floated husband, a missing daughter, even after I lost them, I still weak. Because you are here. And I don’t want you to be anywhere else than by my side. How am I supposed to be chancellor, if I know I will always put you first?_ ”

Marcus doesn’t answer. He has played the scene before, thinking he would be ready. But he hasn’t been ready for this. His mind keeps repeating every single word she said. His hand keeps brushing hers but now, her wet eyes are staring at him. He blinks. A lot. And he sees Abby having a weak smile. He sees Abby having a disappointed smile. It takes him a while before he understands he is the reason of her tears. His free hand covers her cheek.

“ _By doing this together”_ is the only answer he gives to her before his lips gently brush her forehead.

***

“ _I think I love him_.”

Jackson gives her a surprised smile. But she knows he is not surprised of what she said. But surprised she said it out loud. Abby gives his friend a shy smile. None of them know where this will lead us. But one day, as Marcus Kane comes back of a risky mission, Doctor Abbigail Griffin jumps into his arms, feeling relieved nothing had happened to this man she loves. Jackson is not even surprised to see Marcus’ arms resting on his friend’s waist. And none of them is surprised their forehead rest against each other. “ _I’ve missed you_ ” they say to each other. Smiling.

Abbigail Griffin knows she owes this man her survival. But as they hold each other, she knows it means more than she first thought.  


End file.
